I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
