Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
