at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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