im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
