Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
