I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
