awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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