bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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