i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
