Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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