There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize