Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
