So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
