If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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