I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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