Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize