This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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