I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
