Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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