Porn is love you can see.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
