We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
