come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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