TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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