I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
