so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
