when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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