There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
