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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
