That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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