the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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