ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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