the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
