just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
