oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
