aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
