So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
