he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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