He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
