Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
