Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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