so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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