i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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