i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
two words: eviction party
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Green mimosas i think yes
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
