i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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