How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize