i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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