that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
