I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
