I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
