he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
