so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
