they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry my hands just texted you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i believe in u and ur pee
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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