i think i have two assholes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize