She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
