GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Church boner. Awkwardddd
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
