some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have already put on my inside pants.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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