Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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