I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
