Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
