She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
