I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
There's even glitter on my cock...
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