gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
